Pariah Baseball

Rules of a poker game we made up in VT last weekend (3:00 AM, lots of beer) :
The 3 and 9 cards are wild, the 'low in the hole' is also wild, and when you see Pam Grier (a black queen is dealt) , then everyone:

• owes the pot a dollar,
  
• hugs,
  
• goes to write JACKASS on Jeff Veen's forehead while he sleeps,
  
• gets a 4 cards,
  
• gets an apartment together
  
• re-antes and we re-deal.
  

The hand with the best five cards wins.