A SENSE OF UTAH
1.) While having my credential photos taken, I watched as the woman ahead of me took *four* different shots for her ID. Each time, she would walk around the counter and make sure she liked it. Four times.

And nobody got bent out of shape about it. Even me. It seemed normal.
I should have done it.


2.) The whole city of Salt Lake is set up on a quad, with all addresses having both your latitudinal and longitudinal distance from the Mormon Tabernacle Temple.

If an address is “2400 East 200 South, Salt Lake City, UT 84***”, then you know you’re only 26 blocks from the epicenter of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

You always know.


3.) You may only buy alcohol at members-only clubs in UT. My friend found one that will sell you an “Olympic Membership” = $10 for the next 3 weeks.

Beer is not considered alcohol – you can get that everywhere.

Come visit!

Notes from the Road.

9:17am - Depart SF. Full tank of gas. Coffee. Pastry.
10:50am - Gas up in Davis, CA. $9.00. Tires at 35 lbs PSI.
11am-ish - Ignore the fact that you've left I-80 and are on CA-50. Get all the way to Placerville. Drive up CA-49 with it's gorgeous rolling hills, great classic-rock station (Van Halen vs Lynard Skynard luch-set.), and additional 90 minutes to trip.
1:40pm - Cisco Grove. 10-ft snow drifts. $9.64 in gas. Earl is a rock!
6:20pm - Chicken Fried Steak in Winnemucca, NV. $9.24 in gas. One qt oil. 2 Red Bull. **Always eat at "The Griddle" in Winnemucca! This is meal 4 in 2.5 years and it's better everytime!
8:41pm - Elko, NV. $9.24 in gas. I am not funny. Ask anyone in Elko. I am not a funny man.
10:10pm - Wells, NV. Pull over. Get room. Drive the rest tomorrow.

Blog. Go see how long $20 lasts at a $2 Black Jack table.

/scene

THE ROAD TO SALT LAKE
Earl and I are driving to Salt Lake City today.

I’m going to work for the 2002 Winter Olympics. I’ll be walking around with a walkie-talkie and a clipboard, making sure everything goes OK. That’s really all I know about what I’ll be doing. Oh, and I know it’ll be at the Speed Skating venue.

Hey, a job’s a job. And I’d have agreed to sell popcorn just to work at the Olympics!

More to follow…

STATE OF THE UNION
I love the State of the Union address. It's in the constitution that the Prez has to do it, and I think Bush hates it. Too much spotlight.

It's fun to read the White House issued talking points and then listen to Senators, Representatives and other GOPers use the below, word-for-word.

Have a look and a listen.

[This is an e-mail from Adam B. Goldman, Deputy Assistant to the President - Adam_B._Goldman@who.eop.gov]

Talking Points -- State of the Union
America faces a unique moment in history: our nation is at war, our homeland was attacked, and our economy is in recession. In the
State of the Union speech, President Bush will commit our nation to achieving three great goals of our time:

* To Win the War on Terrorism;
* Strengthen Protections of our Homeland; and
* Revitalize Our Economy and Create Jobs.

** National Security. Our fight against terrorism began in Afghanistan,
but it will not end there. President Bush will discuss the keys to ultimate victory by rooting out global terrorism wherever it exists
and protecting America and our allies against chemical and biological attacks. Whatever it takes to win the war on terrorism and defend our country, our nation must and will provide it.

** Homeland Security. The President will outline plans to strengthen
protections against future attacks at home by improving intelligence
activities, tightening our borders, protecting our airports and
airplanes and dramatically increasing funding to equip and train firefighters, law enforcement, and emergency medical personnel.

** Economic Security. The President's economic agenda can be summed up
in one word: jobs. The president understands that a broad agenda to create jobs and strong economy requires a good education, reliable and affordable health care (including prescription drugs), a secure retirement, a comprehensive energy policy, and new markets for America's products through expanded trade.

There has been a broad and bipartisan commitment to winning the war on terrorism. The President wants to bring the same focus and bipartisan commitment to work to address America's needs here at home.

The President will also discuss how we can preserve and extend the great good we've seen come out of the evil of September 11th? Not only to extend and strengthen our values throughout America, but throughout the world.
...................................................................................

KICKBALL
Anil is starting a kickball game at SxSW this year. If you're in Ausitn on March 9th - come play. This is a brilliant idea!

WHAT: KICK is an open-invitation kickball game designed to help (cringe) kick off the festivities at the South By Southwest Interactive Festival.

WHEN: KICK is scheduled for high noon on Saturday, March 9, 2002. Of course, rain might interfere, but we'll just assume our good luck will hold out.
Click here to import this event to your calendar in Microsoft Outlook, Palm Desktop, Lotus Organizer, or Netscape Calendar.

WHO: Everyone is invited! It's a casual, fun, relaxed game that anyone is welcome to participate in.

WHERE: Zilker Park, 2100 Barton Springs Road, in Austin. Zilker Park is a short distance from the Convention Center where most SXSWi activities take place. As far as I know right now, there is no baseball diamond there, so we'll just set up bases in an open field.

WHY: Because it's fun! If you're like most of the people going, you haven't played kickball since you were a kid, and this is as good an excuse as any. Also, since it's early in the weekend, it's a good way to get to meet some people in a friendly environment.

HOW: Get on Anil's list:

Join the KICK Notify List and get an email if there are any updates or changes

email:

RUBY
My friends Dan and Julie had a little girl on Saturday morning. Josh called to tell me that little Ruby Rappaport Trujillo Jambalya was healthy and doing well (that's what Josh said her name was). He and I started to ponder the different, very separate paths that two good friends can take -

JOSH: "Yeah, it's interesting that when Danny called to say that Julie and he had their baby, I was sitting down with my roommate to watch an illegal cock-fighting video we just purchased."
ME: "There was a real fork in the road somewhere, wasn't there"
JOSH: "Yeah...and one of us is off the map... "

MOM
How would you answer your Mom if she asked:
"Where is everything on the internet stored?".

Help me out here: You can write her at b-mom@b-may.com

Britney's Guide to Semiconductor Physics
"It is a little known fact, that Ms Spears is an expert in semiconductor physics."
She is as bright as she looks.

From the other Bryan

EVHEAD

EVHEAD
I now work for myself. Setting up an office has been a slow, arduous, expensive process. Evan has been a great help and I would like to publicly thank him for all the (perfectly legal) software, the kitchen table with the T-1 line, the technical and moral support and, of course, all the cool, understanding beer.

But, I didn't infect his computer(s) with anything.

Grandma's Antique Cell Phone
I just upgraded my cell phone when I saw this:

Nokia has launched Vertu, a luxury phone maker. Phones will come in "a variety of precious metals, boasts a sapphire face and leather sides,... will have a special key to connect the user to a "concierge service" for booking theatre tickets and the satsfying other demands of its rich owner."

Phones will range from $5,000 for a stainless steel model to $23,000 for the top-of-the-range platinum option.

The Whip
People are not making a big enough deal out of San Francisco Democrat, Rep. Nancy Pelosi. She stepped into one of Washington's most visible and partisan posts last week, breaking through the glass ceiling that has kept women from attaining top leadership positions. She was sworn in as the Democratic Party's whip, second in rank only to minority leader Dick Gephardt. She is now the attack dog, the fight picker, the person in charge of keeping pressure on the White House and the most powerful woman on the Hill.

Unabashedly liberal and popular among her fellow Democrats, she is also the ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee - the one in charge of oversight on all national security matters.

She's pretty ok, just FYI.

Blue Light Fading
First Dave Thomas. Now K-Mart.
Where is your God, now?!?

APPLE
"Where did you read that? Because that's the biggest bunch of crap I've ever heard."
- Steve Jobs
CEO, Apple

Crazy Apple Rumors Site

Martha
A couple years ago I was at a Children's Defense Fund event in Clinton, TN. Because Mrs. Clinton, Secretary Donna Shalela and Secretary Alexis Herman were all speaking, security was pretty tight. All guests had to pass by bomb sniffing dogs.

Martha Stewart donated sheets and towels to the newly remodeled Alex Haley farm, so she showed up - late, underdressed and mad to be in Tennessee at all. The dogs thought that she smelled like either liver or c-4. Or both. They sniffed her, and a Secret Service agent who looked just like Markie Post held her, for 10 of the longest minutes I'd ever experienced.

I told Lance Arthur this story and he "interpreted it".
If Lance saved any archives you could read his great version.
He's a bastard for not saving things, but you should read him: glassdog.com

Fun Dad
I went to the Berkley hills today to buy a laptop off a pretty well-to-do, 40-ish CFO type. As we walked into his study, he yelled up the stairs, "Jenny-honey, Daddy has to work. Why don't you read the dictionary till you fall asleep."

Seeing my blank stare: "She likes to read the dictionary."
Me: "How old?"
Him: "Seven"

How does this happen?

BRANDI
And happy Birthday to another B-May:
my wee sister Brandi!

TIVO
For four hours today, I'm house sitting for a friend (cable-guy's coming).

I'm not too tempted to go through sock drawers or medicine cabinets, but what I do want to do is screw with their TIVO so they only get Quantum Leap re-runs and anything with those precious Olsen twins.

Does anyone know how to set TIVO?
Is this considered an act of terror?

Write me:tivo@b-may.com

Let it End
Banner ad in today's SF Chronicle:

GOT INFERTILITY?

Zouves Fertility Center

Science Fails Me, Again
I admire and respect scientitsts, science related activities and all who passed Chemistry. But why, while helping a friend cram for a test (kinda) last night, when I needed TGI-Friday brand Jalepeno Poppers at 3am, why, oh why didn't your precious science find a way to let me microwave them?!?
TGIFscientists have sussed out ways to fry them, bake them, *deep* fry them - you can probably even steam them - but when the microwave is your only option for warmth and the packaging says "Not Recommended for Microwaves", you're screwed.

Nice job, Brainiacs!

Questions
To the Naked Guy running around Dolores Park on New Year's Eve -

Forget for a moment the pebbles, the un-even sod, and semi-viscus mud. Nevermind that the hill is a favorite spot for irresponsible dog owners and their defecating companions. All those things aside, why slide on your front? And why the goose-stepping when you'd finally skidded to the bottom of the hill? Were you trying to warm yourself? Had you lost all feeling in your legs? Naked guys for the Fatherland? Then there was all that trouble getting back up the hill. Fred Flintstone imitation? Kramer? Or just a really bad grass rash?

I suppose I'll never know, but have a great 2002. I hope one of your friends got photos.
We sure did.

.b