Ain't Nobody's Business If I Do
Dumb Laws in San Francisco
* Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.
* It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
* Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
* It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
* Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.

If you can't even trust musicals...
Apparently, the rain in Spain falls mostly on the Northern Coast.

The Economist has great Infrequently Asked Questions everyday.

Overheard at the opening night party for Proof last night:
Robin Williams (in exactly the bright, stripey suit you'd expect him in) speaking in a quiet, conversational, but still stand-up-ish tone:
"Hello. This is Osama. I'm not coming to the phone now. Leave a message. beep".

Even speaking to one person, he's on stage.

Department of Motor Vehicle appointments
The greatest development since the concept of representative democracy is flourishing in California.

I went yesterday to file a new vehicle registration and, because I made an appointment first, I skipped the 35 people in line, went right up to the window and was served (yes, as in "customer service") by the kindest lady ever to work in state government. She answered all my questions, apologized that registering a truck was, indeed, more expensive than a car, and sent me on my way in 11 minutes. In-and-out: 11 minutes!

There is honor in public service again!

Bush says U.S. Will Use Once-Banned Human Tests

LA Times: "...the Clinton administration stopped using information from industry studies conducted on humans to determine the amount of pesticides that could be applied to fruits, vegetables and other crops.

Now the Bush administration, siding with manufacturers on whether such studies are ethical and scientifically valid, has told the pesticide industry it will use data from such tests, in which paid volunteers swallow small doses of the products."

If you put them on Krispy Kreme's, I'm totally in!

In light of the USA PATRIOT Act, reliable sources report:
Academy Award nominee Marsha Mason (The Goodbye Girl) can now require Earthlink to grant her access to your email.

I bought a truck.

The San Francisco Car Auction is every third Saturday near the bay in Potero Hill. They auction off cars for various charities and you never know if you're sending your money to Catholic Charities, The Boys and Girls Club or the NRA. My money went to The Giants Community Fund, "a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, that uses baseball as a forum to encourage youngsters to live healthy, productive lives."

Sure.
All I know is I got a truck from a guy who talked real fast!

It's a great little 1987 Ford Ranger. It smells like 14 years of cigarette smoke and it has more nicks than a 13-yr-old learning how to shave. I'm sure I'll have to sink more money into it, but where else can you get an extended cab pick-em-up truck for $1300.

If it sees the summer, I'll be happy.